Racism is funny...but sad...but funny.

Hatred is a weird thing. Or rather, racism is a weird thing, people call it hate and all that shit, but I think it extends more from fear. Fear for an unknown, or a derived fear from the limited experience with something. When you go back into history, you see that fear turn into hatred toward a difference in the status quo. It manifests itself into this ugly, wretched thing that polarizes a population, allowing one type of people to enact true evil upon another with little to no resistance from those who can stop it. Everyone not white and male, and even some white males, have experienced this to some extent. Blacks and native Americans especially, regarding the US. It has resulted in genocide, injustice, and brutality that will probably be a black mark for the US as long as the country still exists.

However, while it is a tragic entity, racism is also a bizarre "ideal" that can work as a muse for the truly absurd. Hilariously absurd, because some shit, you can't help but laugh at.



*Editor's note following this picture*

Why do I find this funny? It has no funny rhymes like the first two. Well, I really, truly want to know where this particular racist cartoonist got this idea from. Okay, fine, malt liquor with fried chicken in the background, The 69-boys-esque "Shake dat booty BABY!" t shirt, simian facial features and loud music "thump thump"ing out of a radio are all nothing your everyday racist couldn't come up with to say "haha niggers are like this." But look what is in his left hand. A videotape titled "KUNG FU MASSACRE." What I am getting at is where did the guy who clearly has limited or no personal experience with black people gets the idea to throw "Kung Fu Loving..." in there as a list of stereotypes for his "Nigger Heaven" cartoon? Who told him we like Kung Fu videos. Who told him our secret?!

You ever heard of Stormfront.com? It is a white supremacist website where white people go to talk about how niggers, spics, sand monkeys, kikes, chinks, and race traitors are spooky and dangerous and threatening the white race.

Sometimes they also bestow jewels of knowledge upon each other, like this post on how to avoid getting sucker-punched by blacks, as the poster suggests we are all accustomed to doing, based on his experience watching youtube videos.

I have seen numerous videos about negroids sucker punching someone while just standing in line. So I have taken to turning to face them when in line , this gets me a lot of strange looks but no one is going to sucker punch this old guy. It funny to see the groids when you look into their eyes , they will 9 times out of 10 turn away from you. I have been doing this for about 3 months and no one has said a thing to me about doing this.

It's not out of fear they turn away, it's because doing this makes you look like a fucking lunatic that gets upset by eye-contact, old man.

Khartoum in the mothafuckin House!

I heard KRS-One say that "Back in the days, I knew rap would never die..." What was once a unique sound coming from the poorer parts of inner-city New York is now a long-standing global phenomenon, with rap music being created in every corner of the world. Case-in-point, let's look to Bangz, an Australian-by-way-of-Sudan rapper.

If you run an image search for "rap video," I'm pretty sure you will find every graphic he has on the blue screen behind him...which is a way smarter method of staying under budget than going out to rent roulette tables, cadillacs, and permits to shoot in a national forrest (check 0:47).

WEST SIDE! (check 2:15)

His entourage is funny, too.

Sooo... Mulat works?

I know this blog is usually on the light side and very hilarious thanks to Big John aka Nappy Face aka Hans Moleman skin tone lookin’ ass nigga. Any who, A friend of mine showed me this via facebook post. The only way I get my news, info, status, data, dates and opinions. But I felt it was appropriate seeing as how this is the Mulats’ blog. He, my friend mprvs Johnson, being a fully African American guy, feels that if you’re a smidgen of black (even octoroon) you’re all black. Most opinions I’ve heard regarding this topic are from fullies who feel the same. The people in this documentary who are half-breeds mulats, halfies, oreos and yellow bones feel well, just peep.



If you couldn’t tell by the title, this documentary’s preview has a tone quite the opposite of my friend who showed me this. These part black human beings have a few different feelings about their ethnicity. But the most obvious shared sentiment I could see was they felt that they didn’t just see themselves as just black people. So what do I feel? I know that’s what you’re all asking yourselves. (All two of you) I feel human, I am black and I am Mexican. I don’t really fit any mold really, unless you want to get racist. Because I am pretty lazy and always late. I love friend chicken, lusting over big asses, and working 3 kitchen jobs while wearing cowboy boots and guyaberas with The Virgin Mary on the back. (Ok that last one was pretty racist and not true. )But I would be all that if I was white blue or polka dot. Or would I? Wearing my psychologist hat, I feel human beings personalities are developed from nurturing not born hard wiring, meaning we learn who we are. And these people in this clip are not like me. I grew up in the south Bay Area and it is different growing up mulat here than in other places. Some halfies I know are sooo damn “black” culturally and I know some fullies who are “oreos” Me, I’m human. I have felt prejudice; it has been tough being of mix race many times. But it’s nothing that has hindered me enough to bitch too much. Maybe I’m lucky, maybe I have some experiences to come, or maybe I’m just that fucking awesome?
King Jaffe Out!

Who da boss...

Fuck Lonely Island
Ok, their version's aiight.

Mighty Thor and Little Crab...

green eggs and DAAAAAMN! from Woods on Vimeo.

...Along with a bunch of other awesome dances. This makes me wish my friends were more fun and liked to dance.

Blood(sucking) Brothers

Sooo....I have neglected this blog in the past. Personal shit, really...none of ya damn business why. But I have, and in that lengthy inactivity, we got a couple shouts from 4 of the (maybe) 10 people who used to read this blog. However, one person is of my people, the Blackulese, and has a site of his own where he publishes his Black Dracula comics.

Peep his stuff



Big-up to the other blackula, cuz you can't have enough blackulas to go around. Besides, we need to show we ARE still around since they put our public representative in prison



:(



:)

*flap flap flap* (that's the sound of my wings as I depart)

If you wanna bump...

Unfortunately, I couldn't find her muthafuckin myspace page...nig-guh!

Word on dem innanets is that this youtube video was Lil J's response to some girls at her middle school who were probably writing mean things about her in a slam book or some shit like that...nig-guh!

Aight bitch, laytah.

Mike Tyson Tells The Truth...

As it turned out, Tyson really didn't give a damn about Andrew Golota


According to wikipedia: "Tyson dropped Gołota in the first round, and seemed to be having his way with the Pole(Golota is Polish) in the second, when Gołota abruptly told the referee he was through and stormed out of the ring. Gołota shoved his trainer Al Certo when Certo attempted to put his mouthpiece in. Following the bout, Gołota revealed that he had quit because the beating he took in the first round had left him with a broken facial bone and a ruptured disk in his neck. He tried to communicate this condition to his corner, but nobody would listen to him. He therefore decided to take matters into his own hands and walked out of the ring. Later that day he was taken to a hospital, when he collapsed and nearly died."

Fuck You, Taiwan

This is the name of a store in Jungli, Taiwan that sells clothes...yeah, clothes.

Bald Pussies

"Fuckin bitches are deeeaaad..."

The Hardest Cats in New York

Your favorite rapper's favorite rappers

Blast From The Past Vol. 1

One take was all it took....SLICED BRREEEEAAAAADDD!


Thankyou!

Walk On Niggas, Walk On

Ralph Bakshi made this amazing cartoon, called "Coonskin," that parodied blaxploitation cinema during the 70s, while also addressing a lot of racial and cultural issues that have, unfortunately, become embedded in the american identity. Even now, you can see how a lot of the stuff addressed in the film apply today. However, I try not to bring too much preachiness on here; the original draw this movie had on me is wasn't the racial or cultural significance of it's contents, but the fact that Barry White plays one of the characters and the intro song, posted up here and sung by Scatman Crothers (not to be confused with Scatman John), called "Nigga Man." The movie only gets better from there.

Here is a quote from Bakshi as to how he got away with making this film under the nose of big studio execs...

"Bakshi: I told them it was a remake of Song of the South set in Harlem. I told them I want to make the Uncle Remus stories. And then I started to make my film. No one's got time to hang out with an animator ... so it can be very subversive work.

They all thought they were going to make fortunes. That's how I got these films made. It was rope a dope. What these guys thought I was making and what I was making were two different things.

If you're making movies, the decision you have to make is: whether you're going let them take you, or whether you're going to con them into letting you think they take you. Contracts mean nothing, really. Every one of the films I pitched was different than the films I made. You can't beat 'em financially, so you trick them. While they think they're taking me, I'm taking them. I never thought I'd make a whole film. It still stuns me that I got so many done. Because I never fought them."

You can peep the rest of the interview here

The Bloods Win!

Leave it to the bloods to get over the bullshit hype of being thugged out and try something new to net an unlikely fanfare.

Meanwhile, the crips' spokesman does shit like this

A return to form

It's been a looong time, so the next few (or many) posts will be a lot of catch-up work, which means less text and more youtube. Sadly, we haven't been doing anything interesting, but at least I plan to be back.

Blackula IN.